Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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