Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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