It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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