I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
