dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
