If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
