Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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