mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
