your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
