I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
