Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
