i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
