i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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