Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
