i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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