I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
