I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
