Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
