yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
