i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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