eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
