I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
