she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize