I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
