My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
