He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize