oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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