You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
