I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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