Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
We don't watch enough power rangers
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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