He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
