do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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