i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
