one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
