Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
