I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize
