You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Small penises have feelings too.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
