I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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