Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
