i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
