well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
