I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
