Me too!
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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