if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
