I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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