oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
