But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
