I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
