that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
