I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I understand Curling. That high.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
