Taylor Swift is so right about you.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
