your thong is hanging out like whoa
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
