Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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