I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
