I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
