my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
