Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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