found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
