Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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