Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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