phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
