You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
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