i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
